Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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