It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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