Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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