Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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