i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize