I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
