Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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