actually, I'm a sock model
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
