You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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