my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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