____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
