that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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