...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
