Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
