I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
