ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
