is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
