you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
They should really pass out barf bags in church
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
