I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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