that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
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