i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
