We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My feet surprised me
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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