Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
