i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
