She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
