That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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