we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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