is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
