He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize