Whod you bang
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
