I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
