All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
