Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
