the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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