watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
