Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
