Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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