So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
