miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
