what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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