I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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