So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
