If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
