I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You took a bar mat shot.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
