Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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