Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
