i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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