she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
