If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just google imaged poop.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Someone came in the potted fern
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
