the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
