i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
