Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
