Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
