I faked an abortion last night.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
