Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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