we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
