but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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