I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
