I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we're making bets on your personal life
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
